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25-Jan-2020 17:57 by 4 Comments

Sex chat no credit card number women seeking women

I can’t even imagine how painful this has been for you.I don’t know how much you know about 12 step programs like the one I am involved in.

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Even wives of sex addicts farther along in recovery may still be living in fear, or that old fear may creep up again, if you aren’t keeping her in the know about your recovery. Maybe not, and your marriage will suffer–or end–if this is the case.

If you are one of those who is taking recovery seriously you have probably received guidance from many individuals: therapists, sponsors, coaches, books, meetings, etc. It is important to remember that those who are there to help you through your personal recovery are not often marriage experts and some of their well-meaning marriage advice may hurt more than help. By putting your recovery first you are doing what is best for her. Ignore all advice that sounds anything like what I mentioned above–that “her side of the street” stuff. So, how do you let your wife in while respecting the anonymity of the group, while being able to feel safe in your counseling sessions without having to worry about having to go back and report everything that was said? Give her so much information that she doesn’t have to ask.

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If she is resistant, don’t let it turn into an argument. If there are still secrets in the marriage, your wife probably senses this and this will hinder effort you take to improve your marriage.

Get help from a professional who specializes in working with partners of sex addicts from a sex addiction-induced trauma perspective. Even though she may be afraid to believe anything you tell her or show any vulnerability, she does notice these things, and they do make a difference. Even if there are no more secrets she will still doubt because of the years of lying that have given her no reason to trust.

I printed out the steps so you can read them in case you don’t know what they are.

I finally found a sponsor, and we will start meeting once a week on Tuesdays for lunch. He said they should take about a year to complete on average, but this can vary from person to person.

Is there anything else you want to know about my recovery?

I really don’t want you to feel like I am purposely keeping anything from you. Here are some things that are okay and even important to keep private.

When sex addicts are in early recovery, their wives (if they have chosen to stay in the marriage) live in fear. Your wife learned early on that she “didn’t cause it, can’t change it, and can’t control it.” So where’s the balance? Does that mean you can’t focus on your marriage at the same time? I’ve seen it happen enough to know it is possible, even in the direst of circumstances.

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